Recent Thoughts

I guess I have been feeling very confused lately and I constantly have been wondering and worrying about my future. Right now, all I can think about is school because I am really trying to do well this semester, but sometimes it's so hard because all of my classes are very important and it's been hard for me to split up my time devoting time to each class. Whenever my friends want to go out or hang out, I feel bad by telling them I really can't and I don't understand how they seem to have all this free time to do whatever they want. Even on the weekends, I'm either working or studying or I simply just want to catch up on sleep! I also keep going back and forth as to what I want to do after I graduate. I cannot even fathom that I am graduating college next year and it seems quite crazy to be entering the "real world" and some days I get really excited about it, but then there's others where I don't seem to feel ready for that and I think I'm not old enough. I tell myself well I'll just go to grad school for 2 years and that way I'd have more time to let it all sink in and then maybe I'd be more prepared after that. But then there's days like yesterday where all I want to do is get out of school and never sit in a class again. While I do enjoy learning more about Education and Child Development, sometimes the frustration builds up and makes me want to give up. I know that I'll be extremely grateful when I get into a classroom and I've had a great education, but right now, things are just very overwhelming. I think I'm also stressing out because there are only 5 weeks left in the semester and I keep thinking about everything I have to accomplish before then and it freaks me out! Even after being in college for 3 years, the end of the semester always seems to sneak up on me and makes me one big ball of stress. I am definitely grateful for the placements I have had this semester and everything that I have gotten to experience thus far, but right now I'm looking forward to summer vacation! But even then, I'll be in summer school...I know I shouldn't complain because college is a great opportunity and I'm grateful that my parents are spending every penny they have at Meredith College, but I guess my big question is, Where did the time go?